Legally I'm still married. Hell, we still live under the same roof. However, we are in separate rooms and our marriage is de facto - over, finis ca, done like dinner. I've had an online dating profile for just over a month and it's been a crap show, a real stinker of a deal. I never told my husband I was looking, my kids knew, but not my husband.
The other day I log in and there was his pic... A terrible pic at that... He had finally taken the plunge and I started laughing my head off. I found him in his room and we had a nice long talk about online dating. The creeps I'd been attracting, the rules I'd set in place for myself, and what I was hoping he would find.
In less than twelve hours, with a crappy pic of himself, he had over seventy messages... I never got nearly that many and most everything I got was crap. He got 'hot' chicks, successful women, professionals. I get crap. How fair is that?
I offered to help him get a better pic, I'm a good photographer, but no he wants to do it himself. I tried to help him go through the messages, but no he doesn't want my help. I want him to find someone, I hope he finds someone quickly, then he'll be out with her and away from the house even more.
We talked about the rules, he got mad at me for talking with perverts and writing a book about my experiences, he yelled at me because the kids had found out when I forgot to log off my computer. He went off on me about meeting guys and being careful, like I was some dumb teenager. When I do meet a guy in the real world... I'm not going to be stupid about it. At least I hope I won't be.
Attention makes me feel great, someone wanting me, desiring me, makes me do stupid things. Considering the men I've been IMing with for the sake of a storyline, I'd say I haven't been too intelligent so far. I mean come on, I'm lusting after a man who wants to dominate me. How smart is that? Not very.