Saturday, 8 February 2014

Ex Can't Afford Kid's Activities But Can Afford Mexico

My ex-husband stopped paying for my kids activities because he can't afford it, but he left for Mexico for a week. We all live together still because I can't afford rent and he won't move out, so I don't say anything because I don't want to fight in front of the kids.

My son is a member of a teenage rock band, it's the only activity he has, and they go once a week for 3 hours to a studio where they get help learning to perform, learn how to compose music, and get to use instruments and studio equipment. The cost is all of $100 a month.

My daughter goes to a recreational dance class and she loves it because she gets to go with her friends. She is a natural talent and loves music. The cost is $100 every three months.

Not much money, but more than I could afford after paying for groceries, old debt, car insurance, gas, and Christmas. I don't have cheques or a credit card because I don't make enough and was bouncing cheques, so I do everything in cash to make sure I can afford it. I asked my ex to give cheques to the studio owner for my son, which he did because I was supposed to pay him to cover the cheques. I did up until Christmas when I spent too much money on gifts for the kids and food for the holidays. So for 2 months he didn't get paid.

His response was to stop paying for the studio. OK I get that I was supposed to pay him, but he makes more than twice what I do.

In the last 3 months my ex-husband has bought an infrared sauna, drums, entertainment equipment and more. Then last week he decided he wanted to go to Mexico for a week. He was mad at me because I couldn't afford to go with him and I wouldn't find him a deal online.

I am grateful that I have a roof over my head still and that he pays for the utility bills because I don't make enough. I'm always strapped and the kids always have one more thing they need me to buy or pay for. Although my ex-husband is the one who asked for the divorce, he hasn't been in a hurry to get the house renovations completed so we can sell it and move on.

I've got to get out of here though. It's time. For the first time in my life I've filled out social services forms to apply for rent subsidizing. I hate the idea of receiving charity or hand outs. I feel like a failure because I can't support myself.

I've been looking for another job but my employer has asked be to wait because another position is being created and they want me to consider it. I am hoping it comes with a bigger paycheque.

I'm not sure how I can forgive my ex for being so selfish. His rationality was that he doesn't think that he was getting value for the $100 he was paying to the studio. He'd paid $200.00 and he didn't think it was necessary for them to go play there when they could play at the other kid's homes for free. He didn't want them playing at our place. My son neglected to explain the value good enough, so he pulled his support for it. My son is amazing. He went and asked for the cheques back and then arranged to do yard work in exchange for the lessons.

It's time I get out of here. It's been over a year but I don't know how I'm going to do it. It should be interesting to see if I will be able to even receive social service help.