Sunday, 29 June 2014

Single at a Wedding


I went to my brother’s wedding last weekend. It was amazing. The run up was disorganized mess and I thought my parents were going to loose their minds with the irrational details that were coming at them right up to 15 minutes before the Bride was supposed to be walking down the aisle. However, like with most disorganized Bride’s she was thankfully late and everyone had time to get ready. 

The wedding was perfect. They had picked a gorgeous setting over looking the lake our family has been vacationing at for generations and an old rustic community hall, which fit their rustic design theme perfectly. 

I took pictures of the preparations, the decorative details everyone had spent so much time on, and the guests as they enjoyed the day. These photos’ were my gift to them, well that and over $100 of David’s tea products. Once the ceremony started everything fell into place and everyone had a good time playing games, visiting, and of course drinking. I knew very few people outside of family members there. My brother has a good group of friends whom love him and know how to party.

For me the event was bitter in a few ways. 

First, I’m in the middle of a divorce and had just served my ex with court papers. He went ballistic and things between us are worse than ever. My kids were with me and they were mixed on whether they wanted to stay or go back and stay with their dad while I went away for work and a much needed holiday. The kids were feeling the hurt just as much as I was and their frowns and upset faces touched me deeply. 

Second, would be the day before the festivities I was reading the guest list, and thankfully I read it before the wedding because they had invited my uncle. My uncle who started my sexual issues when I was two. Usually, my mother lets me know when he’ll be around and I can mentally prepare myself. Yes, I do go to visit with my aunt when he is at their cabin, however, I have mentally prepared myself for the encounter. This time it felt like my brother had stabbed me in the side. 

Third, I said hello to my brother five or more times and did not get one hello back, not even an acknowledgement. Now he was stressed, it was his wedding after all.... However, I also didn’t get a good bye when everyone was saying good bye to me when I had to leave right after they opened my gift. 

Fourth, my kids were upset because of the way my parents were treating me and I had to manage their expectations. It was my brother’s wedding, everyone was stressed and the way they usually talk to me was amplified.  

Weddings for a single person are bitter sweet. I mean I am happy for my brother, I had fun with my cousins, and I was able to add some amazing pictures to my photography portfolio, however, it is a celebration of love. His life with the woman he loves is being cemented, just as my marriage is finishing. Their friends are mostly all married and in love.... I was one of the few single people in the place. 

My eyes were draining a lot through out the day, mostly because I was happy for my brother, but a bit because I was sad about my life. Yet, being single does have it’s benefits, even at a wedding. I didn’t have to keep my ex husband happy and listen to him go on and on about how unfair my family is and how my brother is a jerk. I was able to enjoy time with my family with minimal negativity. Once I got my kids to see things differently and I mentally prepared for being face to face with my uncle, that is.

The day was about my brother and his beautiful wife, just as it should be, and I am very happy for them.