Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Mommy Issues Much? Bad Date & Online Predator

As I work in coffee shops sometimes I usually arrange for guys to stop by to meet in the real world. Most times they are nice normal guys but something about me either puts them off or there is something about them. The last guy showed up and immediately began telling me how mad he was at his sisters because they wouldn't help him take care of his elderly mother. Odd, considering in most families it's the daughters who step up, but a good sign that he stepped up. A guy who takes care of his mother... A good thing right?

Yeah, until he started telling me how upset he was because her care giver kept making sure she took walks and now she's healthier than when he'd moved in. They told him she'd be dead soon and that's why he agreed to move in with her and he was upset because she was still alive.... Hmmmm and he wondered why I didn't respond when he said he wanted to see me again.

I'm a bored forty something year old woman and as you already know, a little on the more open side of talking about sex. This morning I was chatting online with a nice guy, he claimed to be a cosmetic surgeon who owned his own practice. Maybe his dad is the doctor because this kid certainly wasn't. He asked me to call him and I did, easier than typing.

The minute I'm on the phone he's belligerent telling me that ladies are boring and who'd want to date a lady anyway. What seemed like a nice successful guy online turned into a prick and an abuser of the first order, with a twist.... Mommy issues....

Right away from the way he talked it was obvious he was in his twenties and not educated. As usual I listened and answered sex questions that by now are normal. There's my wake up call.... or at least should be.... when did sex questions from strangers become mundane and normal?....

This kid was a piece of work and like others started jerking off. It was the manipulation of his words that I found interesting. He had statistics worked out, he usually didn't get hard with 75% of women but the 25% got him rock hard.... When he found those he pursed them because B*T*Hes were the best. His method sounded chaotic, but as I looked back on it was strategically planned to see what I would put up with and how much he could disrespect me.
  • His friends that are nice don't get any woman, but those that were disrespectful and rude did. It wasn't fair that he had to be like that to get women because he really was a nice guy. 
  • He made a promise that he would treat 'the one' like a lady
  • He made a comments to make me feel I was being rude to him if I said something he didn't like
  • He made a comment about dropping a woman off at Niagra if she didn't please him
  • He made more promises about how he would treat the 'right' one
  • He mixed compliments with rude disrespectful behaviour 
  • He talked fast and pushed the conversation to where he wanted it, which in this instance ended with his happy ending....
He obviously has a huge mommy issue. I asked if he was talking on his cell while driving and if so I'd let him go. He got angry and accused me of mothering him and he didn't need a mother, how dare I? He was an educated man who could do what he wanted.

I wanted to see where this would go, mainly cause I was bored and attention is attention after all.... He came up with some fantasy that I agreed to be a part of and he kept going on about how I was one of the special ones because he usually didn't feel so turned on so fast. Using the you're special line. Except how special is someone who you don't know and doesn't care at all about you or whether or not they are special to you?

In the end he came.... They usually always do.... But he screamed out that he hated me as he did.... At first I thought that very odd, but I guess it's better than the whole I love you thing.... Cause how could he either love or hate me? I mean I don't know the guy, he's a voice on the other end of the phone....
The conversation ended and I went on with my day without a second thought about the kid who wanted to enact some stupid fantasy to get his rocks off.... Then he emailed me....

Basically he was taunting me telling me how stupid I was for letting him disrespect me and that if I'd been a lady I'd of hung up the phone. He's right. However, I never claimed to be a lady. I never once said I lived in the land of should and I don't apologize for it.

Here's his last email to me after I said I was a writer researching abusers and predators in the online dating world:

LOL I wrote the book. Easy Women on POF. I did nothing but disrespect you cause you portrayed yourself as such. Obviously this is no way to talk to a lady. A lady don’t talk about threesomes. She hang up the phone. I had no respect for you and you still talked to me. I love it. I slept with exactly 303 women. It’s really high I know. I’m clean get checked. 250 in real life the rest on pof. nothing but single moms looking for love and usuing sex to get it. LOL. I love life. you are stupid. Trust me you even know it. 

Maybe I am stupid. I want to shine a light on online predators, how they talk, how they manipulate, and how they sucker women in. Maybe this guy did get a good laugh, but who is sadder? Me? Him? 

Who feels the need to use mothers the way he does, to make fools of them? What did his mother do to him to make him feel better by making others feel bad? I have love in my life. He doesn't and probably never will considering how many empty experiences he's had trying to make himself feel better by hurting single mothers. 

I knew that he wasn't a 40 year old doctor the minute he opened his mouth on the phone. Educated people talk a certain way. Older men's voices are rougher and richer. Words are my domain and how someone speaks says a lot about them. I knew he wasn't who he'd claimed to be before he let the cat out of the bag. 

What I find sad is that he finds so much pleasure in making single mothers feel terrible. 

How does his joke, game, immaturity effect my life? They don't.... They just give me more material for this blog and my book... Cause every abuser, predator, etc is going into those pages so that others can study how they talk, think, and use their words to manipulate others. 

Even with my eyes wide open I can be pulled in to the manipulations of a predator.... I can just picture Marc having a good laugh at my expense.... That would effect me.... I know that he isn't who he claimed to be. I know that he isn't the man behind the words... I fell for words.... Words on a screen.... The man who wrote those words is nobody.... Still, I hope I would have meant at least a little something to him.