Monday, 15 September 2014

Dating Advice Blogs, Websites & Books

Since I've been reading as much as I can on dating in the 21st Century, plus how men and women see each other, I thought I'd put a list together.


Cija Black: This woman has put together an amazing website with podcast to help women be stronger and better daters. If you want to know what you're doing wrong and how to find that elusive quality man, check out her website and podcast.

The Rules Revisited : This male blogger has been analyzing his dating experience and has some really interesting insights into the differences between men and women and how they view each other. I found his writing style easy to follow and his insights mostly right on the money. He is an intelligent individual with some good points on modern day romance.

Finding Love: A collection of articles written on Psychology Today's website about dating, love and the different sexes. Really insightful look at the science and psychology behind the gender connection game.

Last First Date: A dating coach. In today's world a dating coach might just help keep you from heart ache. There are a lot of great articles to read and some straight forward advice. Considering the number of scammers I seem to attract, the how to protect yourself advice is most welcome.

Dating Books:

Toxic Men:  A good book organizing the toxic behaviours of different types of men. What I did learn from this book was that women have similar toxic behaviours that can bring out the worst in certain men. Toxic types can match up and be happy others match up and become codependent, still others match up and it's WW III. The book is filled with insightful advice that will make you think about your own behaviour and the type of man that is best suited for you.

The 30 day Love Detox: OK well I'm reading this one now... So far it's pretty old fashioned advice... Don't sleep with the guy in the first 30 days of dating and make him court you... My BFF swears by the advice in this book and she's always got a man or three taking her out on real dates and begging her to commit to them. So I'm giving it a chance....

Online Dating Sites:

Plenty of Fish: Since this online dating site is free it is more about quantity of choices than actual quality. You have to throw back a lot of minnows before you catch sight of anything decent. However, it is free and you will have a lot of men/women to chose from.

OK Cupid: Another free site. I like this one better because it has literally thousands of questions to answer about your values, dating ideals, sex preferences, lifestyle, and beliefs. The algorithm then matches your profile with other profiles bases on a % of acceptable and unacceptable answers. You can then go through and see how the potential date answered questions to see if there are any deal breakers. The site is getting more popular and once again, it's free so there is a lot to chose from. This is one where you have to pay in order to communicate. You can set up a profile for free and peruse the site, but you have to pay to communicate. There are lots of profiles to look at but few that you can communicate with. So although it looks like there are lots of potential daters, not all of them are subscribers. The fact that it's a paid site should mean that there is more quality. I did not find that to be the case. I received very few messages and those I did receive were the same quality of men as the ones I'd met on the free sites. I had heard great things about this site and the quality of guys on it so I signed up. I didn't find that the quality was any better and the few dates I did finally end up on.  The communication process is slow and scripted with questions you answer to see if you want to continue on finding out more about the person. You finally get through the process and end up having a conversation.  Guys were more ready to meet in the real wold I found, but in the end were no better than the guys I met on POF and OKC.

Zoosk: Horrible... My least favourite site... Although I never tried the new timber site which I'm sure is worse than this one.....

Lavalife: This one is worse than Zoosk in that it's full of horny old men looking to talk smut via IM chats with absolutely no intention of meeting in the real world.. The amount of kink, married cheaters, scammers, dominants, and other fringe dwellers is astronomical. This site caters to the old and desperate.